written by Orin Moore

The day dawned with the sun rising.  Pretty standard.  As was Goat graciously organizing all day.  Other typical behaviors seen throughout the day:

1) 33 arguments of whether a player’s first point of contact was in or out the back of the endzone.  Interestingly, 23 of these arguments involved the player in question blatantly walking to a position more desirable to his goals and then analyzing whether or not this new position was “in”.

2) 15 cheers that rhymed something with huck or bid.

3)  27% of players wondering “why ruin a perfectly good game with a cheer?” 

4) 9 families walking through the middle of the field without realizing that:

(cones + people running fast + an object flying that distracts them)/ you= why?  + sir, could you please move away from the area in which you are right now + one player yelling “get off the field, jeez!” – good idea

5)      7 teams thinking they had “given the game away” when in fact the other team had simply “taken the game away” from them.  You are what the scoreboard says you are. 

6)      4 guys dropping the football the first time it is thrown to them because they cannot grasp the inherent difference between a Frisbee and a football.

Everyone lost during the tournament before the finals except for Shamwow and Butterheads.  At the post tournament gathering, tall Keegan of Shamwow said, “I have never been undefeated at anything in my life.”  Shamwow did in fact go undefeated this season and takes home the title.  Whether or not Keegan has ever lost at being alive since 1980 is open for debate. 

Chad, the Ventura red haired legend (he has a lefty scoober, do you?), summarized his Butterheads finals performance this way: “There was some chafing of the nipples.  You have to let that heal first.  You can’t just think you can go right back out there.”  Michael Dow agreed: “Chafing was an issue. We lost because they won.”

The weather was unseasonably cold but everyone survived.  My knee hurt on Monday but feels fine now.  Just wanted to get that out there.